So far, so good.

I don't want to count any chickens before they hatch or anything, but we've had four good nights in a row with these little sweeties, and I feel like a new woman. I still have people who lovingly volunteer to take a night shift just in case. It just seems like something in these little brains of theirs finally clicked and they know when it's nighttime. They also eat a lot faster, fuss a lot less, and have fewer reflux episodes. I know we're not completely in the clear, and have more hard times to come, but I'll take any good night I can come by. It's so much easier to deal with the daytime challenges when the nights go smoothly.

It's really hard to believe me made it to this point when I really thought they would never change from wanting to be held every second of every day. I've had some pretty low moments wondering if I was cut out for this job. When even one of them had an inconsolable time, I was about to lose it, but throw a couple more into the mix and I thought my brain was going to explode. They have been these squirmy little newborns for so much longer than is normal and I was seriously doubting things would ever change. I loved them through every second of the hard months, but was just praying that things would change soon.

While I've been here I've been able to get out quite a bit to go to the store, on a date with KC, or even be as frivolous as going shopping or to the movies! But each time I left I felt like I was leaving people with these ticking time bombs ready to blow at any moment. I felt guilty at what my helpers would encounter whether it was a baby who would be starving but would not want to eat because of reflux, resulting in screaming, or a baby who was just plain mad at who knows what, resulting in screaming, etc. I always felt anxious to go home and relieve the help so that a) they wouldn't hate me for putting them through that, an b) I could help my sad little one though whatever was ailing them. Sometimes I just want to be the one to console them, as everyone knows it's hard to see your baby upset.

Anyway, these days I feel that when I leave, it's most likely that the babies will be kicking their chubby legs in the bouncy seats, sleeping peacefully, or entertaining their guests with smiles and coos as they flail their arms about in glee after a rapidly gulped bottle of warm milk that they got down without any bit of fussiness. Instead of being anxious and guilty about leaving, I feel content and rejuvenated, and can't wait to get back to my sweet little bundles. It's seriously has changed my whole outlook on life to have happier babies. I have a feeling this is going to get even more fun (as people have told me yet it was hard to believe).

So this makes me incredibly relieved as I intend to pack up and go back to Maryland in about 10 days. But I'm not crazy or naive, and know that my babies are still pretty high maintenance, so I have recruited my cousin Britney to come live with us for a couple months as my right hand woman. I'm totally excited to hang with her. And KC's mom has been kind enough to give us two weeks of her time to help out as well. Funny how I was a babysitter just a year ago, and now I'm the one doing the hiring.

These babies are truly such a joy in my life. The hard times are hard, I won't deny that. I have experienced lows I never thought I'd have when I finally became a mom, but I am only human, and was forced into quite a predicament. But I feel like I have been blessed with people in my life, my enduring family and friends, and the tools required in myself, and an incredibly patient husband to make it through this thing called mothering triplets. Heavenly Father knew what he was doing, though I doubted that a lot this past year. He's definitely helped me through every step. Yes, I think almost daily how great it would be if I could do this all on my own like most people get to, but I have learned a great deal of humility and gratitude along the way. I am thankful everyday for the undying support and love that everyone has shown this family of mine.

Oh, Ruby's big eyes just popped open, and she is flashing that toothless grin I love. I think some cuddling is in order. Thanks for putting up with another one of my rants.