We arrived at Target within a half and hour of this taking place. As I was getting ready to leave on our errands this morning, I was a little annoyed at myself that it took me longer than usual to get everything together to leave the house. Now I couldn’t be more thankful I took time to take a longer shower, wash the grapes and put together clean sippy cups before we hit the road.
When we arrived, we saw the commotion of ambulances, etc., but my dad checked and said it was still alright for us to go in. We made our way into the store around the caution tape, and were only able to do my returns before everyone was asked to leave the store. We then found out a few more details, and were gladly on our way.
It wasn’t until the news stories hit, that I really started feeling quite sick about it. Thinking about my babies in danger truly makes me short of breath. Why must the world be such a scary place? And now that I have a family, and my heart has so much more attached to it, these types of things hit in a different way. I have pretended to shrug it off all day, keeping myself busy, and telling myself that that these types of things, and much worse, happen all the time, but I think this is the closest I’ve ever come to something so random and close to home. Now that I’m trying to sleep, I can’t stop thinking about how something like this can happen at any moment. (And I think subconsciously, all this was partly to blame for my childish outburst during a moment of overstimulation this evening.) I just have a horrible feeling in my stomach about it. I can see myself turning a bit agoraphobic if I let my mind keep going there. Maybe our winter quarantine will be welcomed instead of dreaded this year. I’m sure some prayers and time will help, but still, this was one of those eye opening experiences for me. Is there anywhere we can go that is safe?
(There has been plenty of fun going on here as well. That is coming up. I just wanted to get this off my mind.)
4 comments:
This is the worst. Why are there crazy people out there?? If we had gone any sooner, that could have been us. It blows my brain, this is so terrible. I never want to leave the house again.
Crazy and yes, scary. So glad you were later on the errands today.
love you.
That is freaky. Don't worry. You are feeling all normal reactions. It will just take time. Some lunatic burned the mall by our house last year and it still feels creepy going in. There are a few mentally unstables in this world that make some unhappy unpredictables. Glad you are all safe.
Ack! So glad you weren't there yet, just seeing it would have been damage enough!
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