The Day My Life Changed

So, I love my kids. I love them to DEATH! All I want for them is to be so happy, have every need taken care of, and know that they are loved as much as humanly possible. That all being said, I have been waiting for the day that they start school since their first few months of life. Raising kids is hard no matter what, and having triplets has made that VERY clear. I have felt like I have been treading water for nearly four years, and often during the hardest moments, while trying to think of a solution to all the craziness and anxiety, I would wonder when it would get better. The answer that would always come to me was that someday they would be older and go to a magical place called school. When they were 2 months, or 18 months, or 2 1/2 years old, this wasn’t such a comfort, because that solution seemed so far away, it just felt like a dream that was too good to be true.

And then they turned 3, and we moved, and things started to feel like a reality. I could feel the relief drawing closer. I did some research on multiples in preschools, hoping for a possible discount. With divine intervention I’m sure, I found a program where preemies qualify for funding if they met certain birth weight or gestational age criteria (among other things qualifications for different situations). I talked to the right person without any kind of wild goose chase (awesome, right?!), who immediately sent me all the [dozens of] forms I had to fill out, which I did quickly.

We didn’t know where we were going to live at that point. I knew the county we were shooting for, so I crossed my fingers, and hoped I was right. They were kind enough to let us turn in everything except the deed to the house to get the process going, saying they thought the triplets were good candidates. As you know, we bought a house, and it was in the right county, and we sent that deed over straight away. We waited a month or two, and finally got the email saying we had been officially been accepted into the program and would be granted the funding! It was a great day. They assigned them to a school in the neighborhood, and required that they attend 4 days a week instead of two. Fine with me! Even the cheapest of preschool around here would’ve run me close to $600/month for 2-3 days a week! This program is normally 300 per month, per child. I knew of a mom with triplets who got into a similar program, which is why I researched in the first place. I am very happy that I did. All those NICU bills are actually paying off!

Anyway, we’ve been pretty excited for this school year to start. It really didn’t hit me until the Open House where we met their teachers and saw their classroom. It’s so strange going from seeing them every hour of every day, to just letting someone else take part of that for you, guilt and worry free.

 

Then the first day of school arrived. We are in the afternoon, which I love. (Interesting how when we would hit a hard point almost every day where all there was left to do was yell and put people in time-outs, I’d look at the clock and realize that soon they’d be in preschool at that exact time. Very interesting.) We had time to have a pretty normal morning, leisurely get ready, and take a few pictures. They weren’t entirely cooperative for them, but they had to be done nonetheless.

KC met us there, and we walked into the classroom with the all other cute kids. They were so excited to find their pictures by their pack back hooks, and see the teachers they met a couple days earlier. They were directed to put their snack in the snack basket, and were shown their spot on the rug. KC and I just watched as this all happened so naturally. Bennett had been a little sad in the car, saying the didn’t want me to go home, but the second he got into that classroom, he, well all of them, forgot we even existed. They loved it there. It was a strange feeling just walking away. We’d been so attached, for better of worse, for so long, it’s just a weird feeling. (Maybe primary and Smaland has prepared all of us for this in a way.) Bittersweet, I guess you could say, but definitely a little more on the sweet side

That morning there were few moments when I thought to myself  “Am I really ready for this? and “What if I forget the snack or to pick them up one day?”, or “What if there aren’t any clean clothes to wear…?” And then I remembered it’s only preschool, it’s five minutes from home, and I am SO ready for this.  And really, so are they. They have needed more structure in the day than I have had energy to organize for a long time. I tried, I really did. My sister made me a list of preschool activities to do at home, we did crafts, we were constantly playing outside, and doing big projects on occasion, but there was always a fight, or a mess (on top of another mess), or I was just too exhausted to start anything at all. They are pretty good at playing by themselves, but I could just tell that they were craving more. In just one week, I can clearly see how much they have learned already. It’s so funny to hear them sing songs I didn’t teach them, or use sharing techniques I hadn’t tried yet. I don’t what to make myself sound completely incompetent here. I did teach them songs, and always trying new ways for them to get along better, but there is something about a new environment, and new authority figures that changes things for kids, and I am thankful for that.

The night before school started, KC and I had an epiphany that we could actually go to lunch together now without the kids! And we did just that, as a celebration after dropping off the kids. That juicy burger didn’t only taste amazing, but made me feel like I was stepping into a new world. A world where I am happier, more patient, have a cleaner house, am more productive, and am just an overall better mom. I was on a high going on simple errands, that I pictured being so much harder with the kids in tow. It still feels a bit unreal as I drop them off everyday. I love seeing them run into their classroom and know just what to do. It’s pretty difficult getting them to tell me anything that happened that day when I pick them up, but eventually the stories some out, and I see a few pictures in their pack packs now and then. It’s fun.

Now, it is only 2 hours and 45 minutes, and I’m usually so busy trying to make the most of that time that it goes by in the blink of an eye, at least one of them has always been whining on the way home since the very first day (we fixed that by playing Count-The-Buses while driving), and there are still explosive fights, usually after school when everyone is tired. But I think there will be a point when things calm down, and a solid routine is in place, that things are just good. I know life won’t be perfect, but a change like this, in my situation anyway, is a big one.  I always said that someday having three at once will actually pay off. Well folks, it’s finally happening. I love that I still get them all to myself Friday-Sunday, and every morning. I miss them when they’re gone, but know it’s best for all of us. Soon they’ll be in school more than I would like, so I’m enjoying this sweet time while it lasts.

I do love those kids. I love them to death.