Mrs. Independent

I consider myself a pretty independent person. Almost border-lining stubbornly independent. Not my best quality, but it's me. Sometimes I feel like I am becoming a little bit too stubborn, and I reevaluate myself. I try to be more open minded, and remember that I don't know everything, and I do need help sometimes. But I like to figure things out for myself using trial and error, and/or a little research. I'm pretty good at getting the information I need for any given situation. If I need a suggestion, or advice, I'm definitely not ashamed or afraid to ask for it, but I have a network of resources that I like to turn to. It's a comfort to know that someone has been where I am before, so if something isn't working for me, I can ask what worked for them. I've found the best solutions to problems by asking family and friends. But unsolicited advice or an out-of-the-blue suggestion about how I'm going about doing things in my life isn't usually very welcome, and can get me a little annoyed. Isn't that pretty normal? I hope that I am never a person that just barges into someone else's daily doings telling them how to do this or that. Usually people have ideas and ways for how things work for them, even though others might disagree. Anyway, I'm a very independent person.

So naturally, infertility, a high risk pregnancy, and now a house full of babies have all been instances that have required a lot of patience. My independence has had to be put aside and I have needed a lot of assistance from others to achieve something that should be very personal. It has been extremely difficult on occasions, but obviously I am being taught a lesson here, and I realized that a long time ago.

I knew having three babies would be a challenge, to say the least. I wasn't naive about it. But I was hoping after a routine was in place, and the babies were on a schedule, I would no longer be so dependent (knowing full well that that was wishful thinking- but still). But of course after a couple weeks of almost no sleep and me still recovering from a very stressful pregnancy with postpartum hormones always about to surface, reinforcements were called in. My sweet friend Molly, who also happens to be my visiting teacher has recently had a baby herself and is well aware of the demands of having ONE newborn at home. So she knew that having three would definitely be an occasion for help from others. And when she called to ask if we needed any, she caught me in a very exhausted and needy state, making it very easy to accept her offer to send a sign-up sheet around church asking for helpers. Now, along with being independent, I absolutely hate inconveniencing people on behalf of myself. I would always rather be the one to help, than to be helped. I was the one with out kids and only a part time job for so long, that I was able to step in when I was needed, and it didn't really take away from anything too important in my life. I didn't ever really need much in the way of help from others, and I liked it that way. I like taking care of myself. So I never thought it would be so easy to accept help from others. The tables have definitely turned. Desperate times call for drastic measures. When I talked to Molly that day, I knew I had to accept, and what a great and humbling decision that has been. Several times a weeks we are blessed with friends, and others I didn't even know that well yet. They bring delicious food, and gifts and dedicate so much of their time to our family. They've been helping me just the way I need. It was hard to get used to it initially, but has turned into a very sweet and growing experience for me. Thank you so much to Molly and the many friends. I will never forget your generosity.

Well, I just heard and felt a giant explosion come from the bottom of my darling Alex (yes, I am typing one handed as I hold a baby) so I better get back to my mommy duties. Another trip to the pediatrician today (man, those co-pays are adding up).