Thursday, July 17, 2008

We Need Your Help

Dear Friends,

We're slightly hesitant to write this on our blog as we try to keep it more of a light-hearted and happy place for us to escape the difficult things we are going through. This is anything but a light subject, so we hope writing it here doesn't automatically make it one. Taking the advice of a friend, and with the promptings that keep coming to us, we feel like this is the place and time to share our feelings on this tender subject.

As some of you may, or may not know, KC and I have been eagerly hoping for over two years to have a child. We found out a while after we started trying that our only hope for conceiving was through In Vitro Fertilization. And not only that, but a more extensive technique they add to it that they have come up with in the last decade or so. We had mixed feelings about this. We were extremely relieved and happy to have a chance at having biological children when 10 years ago they would've said there is no possible way. But we were also a little scared about this idea. It's extremely expensive, and doesn't always work. And with it being the only way for us to conceive, it was hard to completely give up that part of our lives to all the many professionals that it requires, instead of just being between the two of us. But we were willing to do whatever it took, so we excitedly and apprehensively agreed to continue. It is a long a very difficult process, but we tried to stay focused and faithful since at the time we completely relied on this to build our family biologically. Since we began the IVF process, we have had two (update: three) devastating negative pregnancy tests. Even a negative pregnancy test when you are trying on your own is hard, so maybe you can imagine the disappointment. The doctors went from pure optimism to very confused. We are learning that we can't rely on it. It's been the trial of our lives and we've been making with through with a lot of support from our families, friends, and of course our Heavenly Father. I have a lot more thoughts on the subject of IVF and infertility in general that I want to share, but it is not the purpose of this post, so I'll revisit that another time.

So as KC and I have been talking to each other, my friend (mentioned above), and Heavenly Father, we feel that we are ready to take the steps toward adoption. We have a lot of the same feelings as we did before-excited, scared, apprehensive-since this is also pretty much out of our control. It can also be a very grueling process with a lot of ups and downs, and we were wondering where to start. The friend I talked to and her husband were under the same circumstances as us and adopted all five of their children. Her advice, and how she got 4 of her children, was purely by word of mouth. She told everyone she came in contact with, strangers included, that they were looking for a baby. Before talking to her, I thought we wouldn't be taken seriously if we took this route. That no one would believe that we were legitimate. But after hearing of her success, I am a believer and am willing to try.

This is where we need you. We are in a day and age where news is easy to spread with the Internet, thus writing this post. So if it's not too much, I'm asking that any of you reading to spread the word that we are eagerly looking to adopt a baby. If there is anyone you know that is going to place their child up for adoption, please let us know. We are on a mission to start our family, and really feel that this is a way for us to get some results. We have so much love to give, and dream of the day that we have a child in our lives. We hope that through this, it can become a reality. Again, we know there are other avenues of adoption, but we feel that this is where we should start for the time being. (Update: we have been approved with LDS Family Services and are adopting through them.)

Thank you in advance. Even in the midst of a trial so great, we have been able to see why we are given such things to endure. We have been blessed, with so many great people in our lives, and even more apparently, with each other. With out a companion so dedicated and faithful, it's hard to make it through even the smallest of trials. So this has made us closer to each other and the Lord. If you find out anything you'd like to share with us, please email me us KCandEmily@hotmail.com. We appreciate your help more than you can ever know.

Love, KC and Emily

34 comments:

Hannah said...

I will keep my ears open for opportunities for you! I am sorry you have to go through this! You will be in our prayers.

Corinne said...

I am so hopeful for you, my sweet friend. If it's okay, I'm going to link to your post on my blog and spread the word. My own aunt and uncle adopted children via word of mouth also :) I'm praying for you and sending you hugs through the wireless connection :)

Jana said...

Emily, you are so sweet and you will be such an amazing mommy. I will keep you in my prayers and will let you know any information I may find out.

Janice Graham said...

Good job, Emily and KC. Keep your chins up! It will happen. I love you so much,
Mom

Melissa said...

This is Todd's sister and Amber's sis-in-law Missy. I will make a post and link to your blog. I will pray that you will find a baby soon. Infertility is a subject very close to my heart. I am so sorry to hear about your disapointments and I hope that soon it will be replaced with joy. I hope you won't mind if I check back to see how things are going.

Jill said...

It was so good to talk to you yesterday em. I am so amazed at your persistence and willingness to give anything a try...we will keep you in our prayers and spread the word!

Amber said...

We are praying and spreading the word for you guys! You will be the best parents ever. I know there is a baby for you and he or she will be the luckiest baby ever to have you and KC for parents. Be happy and it will all work out Heavenly Father is on your side. He wants you to love one of his children!!

Rebecca said...

I just stumbled onto your blog through another blog, but I had to comment! My husband and I are about to adopt our first baby in a few weeks...so we've been in your shoes! It's a hard road!

I know all of the trials with infertility and adoption WILL be TOTALLY worth it in the end! Hang in there and good luck!!!

Kellie said...

Hi Emily, This is Kellie, Cami's pal. You'll certainly be in our prayers, and I'll keep my radar up for any possible connections. There is an office of LDS Family Services up in Frederick and my brother had an excellent experience adopting through them-they tried for 7 years before Lucas came to them through adoption. You and KC might be the answer to some sweet girl's prayers who chose that path to place her baby and is looking for a couple just like you.

Woods said...

I'm so sorry, I love you guys so much. We will for sure be keeping our eyes and ears open for you. We are thinking about you. We will keep you in our prayers. Love you!!

holly b said...

you are so brave to step into this new path! I'm a friend of Cami's from the Nook who also likes to read your food blog. :) I'll put something on my blog for you.

Denise said...

I'm a friend of Corinne's. I'm surprised I don't know you because I just moved from MD, a couple of miles outside of DC.

I just want you to know that one of my very best friends was in your situation. They decided to go the adoption route after lots heartbreak. Well, two adoptions later, they couldn't be happier.

And, BTW, they just had their own surprise biological baby 10 years later! Maybe God wanted my friend and her husband to be the parents of those adopted children, something that wouldn't have happened if they hadn't had their own child first. Good luck to you.

bkjones said...

Hi KC & Emily, I hope you don't mind but my good friend Ashley Wood posted about the two of you and I just had to come and leave you a comment. My heart goes out to you two. I know from my own personal trials what you are going through and what you have already been through. My husband & I are in a very similar situation right now. I will keep you two in our prayers and wish the best for you. -Katie Jones

Sarah said...

I am so sorry you have had to go through this for so long. I will help spread the word and keep my ears and eyes open for something. Maybe my work will come in handy. You will be in our thoughts and prayers more and more. Keep pushing forward and faithful. You are an amazing couple - great things will come to you!

Flake Family said...

I love ya girl and some lucky baby will find you soon!! You will be such a good mom and I can't wait for it to happen for you! We'll pray for ya!

The Girls' Mommy said...

Hi Emily and KC-

We've met a couple of times at Cami's house. I came to your blog through Corinne's post.

It may not be exactly what you're thinking about but I find myself daydreaming and cruising the site "Reece's Rainbow" all the time. Its an adoption site for babies and children who have Down syndrome from all over the world. Thought it might be worth mentioning.

Good luck! Julia
http://www.reecesrainbow.com/

Woods said...

Em, you should read the comment my Mom left on my blog about you guys. She LOVES YOU. I love you too!

Kristy said...

We love you and good luck. We will pay attention to anything that might help! I know other families who have adopted just through word of mouth as well.

Robbie + Carly said...

I am a friend of Marianne McAllister. I have a friend that works for DCFS. I don't know if you are willing to go the foster route at this point or not, but she has so many toddlers and babies as well that need good homes. She said that about 75% of them end up being adopted by their foster parents. If you are interested, I can give her your information or vice versa. I am pretty confident that she would be a big help in getting you a great child as well.

The Hunsakers said...

My prayers will be with you Emily. You will be an amazing mom. I will keep my ears open. If I get a teaching job in Houston maybe I'll have some connections there with teen mothers.

Unknown said...

Emily i'm so sorry for everything you and your hubby have had to go through! I know how you feel with the trying and there comes a point when you have to go another direction! i have a friend that adopted two kids and they are so cute! and if it wasn't for the poeple that god put on earth like you. there would be a lot of kids with no homes. i will be thinking about you! love ya lots!

Heather said...

My friend Sarah sent me the link to your blog. Your post is beautifully written and truly touched my heart. I've never experienced the heartbreak of infertility or the multitude of questions, doubts and fears that come with adoption but I've watched a member of my family and a dear friend struggle and struggle some more with the same challenges. I do know the intensity for which we, as women, need to nurture and mother; in that, we are the same. Perhaps that is why my heart hurts for you but holds hope that all will be well for you and your husband. I'll do what I can to spread this information around. You're in my thoughts and prayers though without this blog, we're virtually strangers. Take care.
Heather

Micah-n-Holly said...

I stumbled onto your blog from a friend's blog (Jessica & John). My husband and I have been in your shoes as well. The adoption process in an extremely difficult one, but as you mentioned in your letter (amazingly written, by the way) with the love and support of each other and your Father in Heaven you are able to get through each day (even with the more difficult ones!). I think you are doing a great job getting the word out and you also could consider ordering business cards with your names (first names only) and handing those out to everyone you meet as well....waiters, dry cleaners, car wash people, grocers, etc. you never know when or how your names will reach that birth mom who is carrying your baby for you! Hope some of this helps! Best of Luck!

Nicole Wright said...

I pray for you two everyday. Thank you for being such a good example of faith and hope in your hard times. Your faith helps me to be more faithful. I know God will bless you because of who you are. I will do all that I can to help you. I love you two so much.

Dim Sum, Bagels, and Crawfish said...

I got to your blog via Corinne. We will keep you in our prayers. Don't give up faith that your child is out there waiting for the perfect moment and the perfect way to join your family. We feel very blessed to have two beautiful children one of whom joined our family through adoption. Feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions. Good luck and many blessings as you continue on your journey to parenthood. Adoption is a wonderful way to build a family....just as miraculous as the biological way!

Merinda Reeder said...

You've been in our prayers. My brother and his wife are going through a very similar trial right now... just a little earlier in the process, so my family is talking in these subjects. Another of my brothers and his wife gave up a baby when they were in high school. My sister-in-law shared the following, which I want to share with you.
She said that Alex was never theirs - that he was always meant to belong to his adoptive parents. She said giving him up is the hardest thing she ever has done, but that she has always known that he was their baby, not hers.
Our family is now acquainted with Alex's family, and my brother and his wife are good friends - interested in Alex and his big brother still.
It is a beautiful and amazing thing to watch God's hand at work in adoption. Our prayers will be with you.

stacia said...

em & kc - you are in our prayers. so sorry that you have to go through this right now... we will spread the word and i know you will be wonderful parents... your strength is amazing.

Sohailah said...

I read your post through Corinne's blog. I am adopted - I will pray for you. It is such an amazing gift to give to a child. And I am a 41 year old, so I have been adopted for a very long time...

Angela @ Canned Time said...

Emily,
You know that I am in the same boat. Be greatful that KC will be praying with you. It makes a huge difference as hard as the wait may seem. I know you will be blessed for your efforts and I will of course keep an ear out for you on any potential adoptions. I would suggest that you also give Janet Pope an e-mail about your situation. She misses you at PG and I'm sure would be more exposed to moms than most of us. Love your site BTW!
:>

Jared - Christina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chrissy Jo said...

I'm one of dear Nicole's friends. I may link your post to my blog, if you don't mind. I used to work as an adoption caseworker for LDS Family Services, and I totally applaud what you are doing. It's so scary to put yourself out there, but sometimes that is the only way to find and build your family. I pray that your journey to building and finding your family will go quickly and smoothly... and as always I will keep my ears out for you!

Chrissy Parkinson

Kenny and Janelle said...

KC and Emily..(this is Janelle from KC's devonshire ward)my heart goes out to you , I know God knows the desires of your hearts and grants us miracles...I'm praying for you and am so happy the two of you have each other.

Jill said...

Hello! I am a friend of Hannah's and saw her link. I TOTALLY know what you are going through and I honestly wish you the best. Infertility just plain sucks and it is a rollercoaster through it all...so many ups and downs in adoption and trying to biologically conceive. I would love to chat more with you if you want...luckiestgirlalive@hotmail dot com.
We've been trying to get pregnant for 7.5 years. We adopted our son, through word of mouth almost 4 years ago. ADOPTION IS AMAZING. We just started the in-vitro process 2 weeks ago and had to cancel per doctor recommendation...it is devastating. It's so hard to know what path you are supposed to take to accomplish your family.
I hope and pray for the best!!! Please don't hesitate to ask me any questions or talk if you want. It's nice to chat with other people who "get it" and completely understand.
GOOD LUCK and God bless!

John said...

here's what not to do: some friends of ours are adopting a baby from an African country and they just sent out invitations to a party at their house to help raise money to cover the costs of the adoption. they are providing the location, but everyone needs to bring a dish to pass and BYOB - and whatever you want to donate to pay for the adoption process. tacky!!! good luck to you!