The birth of our babies.

What a week we've had. It's really hard to get all my thoughts in readable order, but I'll try. I wanted to include a lot of details. Hopefully it's not too graphic for those of you that don't prefer to know every little thing. I want to start by saying that we are completely overjoyed, and still quite in shock. Even though I'd been in the hospital, and we knew this could happen, it still seems like everything happened so suddenly. The babies are in very good hands, and feel like we were prepared for everything that we have come across. We knew about how much the babies would weigh and that the babies would be attached to lots of tubes and monitors even if they did come a few weeks later, so we are not shocked by that at all. We feel like we have been given a great blessing of feeling peace and contentment right now, instead of fear and anxiety, which can easily occur at times like this. So, now I'll tell you the story.

Friday night was like any other. Mom went home for the night and KC was sleeping over. We were bored as usual, trying to decided whether to channel surf, put in a movie, or play a game. I was just laying on my side in bed when I felt a jolt downward from baby A, not an unusual feeling at all, but enough to make me jump a little, and complain to KC that one of the babies just kicked me weird. But almost immediately I felt a warm gush of fluid, and I knew unmistakeably that my water had broken. We called our nurse in, and I was feeling pretty scared since I never really expected this to happen. Up until now, I had been a pretty boring patient, a lot of times wondering what I was even doing there, so this probably surprised all of us. It was about 9:30 at night on September 11, only a few hours from our 30 week point. I wanted to be in the 30s so bad that I practically begged the babies to stay in a few more hours. A couple more of our nurse friends came in to help out. They were all so calm, and told me that I needed to calm down. They put the monitors on, and said as long as the babies were okay, they could stay in for quite a while, and continue to make more amniotic fluid. But this was all so new to me, and I didn't like this limbo I was in. The babies all looked good on the monitors, and the nurse was waiting for a call back from the doctor. We called my mom to come back in case something was happening, and also called a friend close by to help with a blessing. I really needed that.

It seemed like it took forever for the doctor to call back. Since I wasn't in pain, she was pretty calm and said she was having a resident come in to check any progress. Some woman I don't know came in and said I didn't look dilated to her, and she as out of my room within a minute or two of coming in. Seems like everyone had somewhere else to be that night. So the doctor called me and said things will probably just move really slowly, and I should probably try to get some sleep. Ha! I asked for my Ambien, cause I knew there was no way I was going to get to sleep on my own that night. Since the babies weren't in danger, they wanted to possibly wait until Monday, when the NICU was better staffed. I was a little confused. But I did what she said and tried to get some sleep.

It was about midnight, and after laying there for a while, I noticed that I would doze off, and then wake up with an uncomfortable contraction, something new to me. Contractions had been pretty painless until then. I tried to ignore the first couple, but they were getting harder to ignore after that. I called in the nurses. There had been a shift change, but they had the scoop. The hooked me up to everything again, and it showed I was having very regular contractions about every four minutes, but now, there was a pain scale involved. I never really prepared for labor since we always knew we'd have c-section, so I was getting really nervous as the pain got more intense. They called the doctor again, and she said to take me to Labor and Delivery where they will check things out more thoroughly to determine what to do with me. About an hour had passed, and I was definitely in the throes of labor now, in excruciating pain everything 3 minutes or less. I was getting scared thinking of how small the babies would be. One of the nurses that I has grown to know and love in the was so sweet and helping me through the contractions, telling me that the babies will be strong, and squeezing my hand. When she left, I was sad to not have my familiar friends around me. The nurse we just met in L&D looked super busy trying to figure everything out. I couldn't even really see straight at this point. She hastily apologized as she checked my cervix (we didn't have time for her to be careful, or gentle about this, and I completely understand that we were in extreme circumstances, but I don't think I ever had felt such pain than that in my life), and ran to the phone where I heard her tell the doctor a bit frantically that I was now dilated to a 9! A lot of this is blurry to me, but I remember her coming in and telling us we were going to have these babies soon. She gave me strict instructions not to push.

I just want to stop right here to say that you'd think KC was a pro at this labor thing if you saw him that night. Like I said, this was not in our plans at all, but he helped me breath through every contraction, and kept his cool the entire time. I was so grateful to have him by my side the entire time to let me squeeze as I needed, which was a lot. I love him so very much.

So, anyway, the next thing I know, they were throwing a packet of scrubs at KC telling him it was time to change. I was begging for pain relief. The nurse said that she could see that I was really "uncomfortable" (seriously, can't she just say a lot of pain instead), so they were going to give me the spinal before the doctor got there, even though they'd rather wait until we were in the OR. They had me sit up, but the nurse didn't like that. Just as they were prepping me, the doctor arrived. As I continued to cry in agony, KC kept reminding me that I only needed to make it through a few more since the Dr. was here and we were getting ready to go. They wheeled my bed into the OR. KC had to wait outside until the spinal was in place and they were ready for him. There were so many people around me, but I was still in so much pain, I couldn't even think straight. They told me to turn on my side (I couldn't sit up since a baby would probably come out) and arch my back. There was some kind person holding me in that position, and I felt very taken care of by the kind staff. My doctor would occasionally come and hold my hand as things were getting prepped, to let me know that everything was under control, and we'd get moving soon. I felt almost instant relief with the spinal, as everything from my chest down became tingly, then numb. I could've probably fallen asleep right then. I kept asking when KC was going to come in, and they kept reassuring me that they'd bring him in soon. They put a drape in front of my face and brought KC in to sit by me. He held my hand so tight. It was so wonderful to have him by my side again. It was actually quite calm in the OR, and I think I even remember some of the small talk, and 80s music going on as we waited for things to get going. And I'm recalling that they asked me who painted my toenails. (Thanks mom!)

Then everything happened so fast. I knew I'd feel some pressure and movement while numb, but no pain. I did feel a lot of prodding, and tugging, but I wasn't sure what exactly was happening yet. I thought they were just cleaning the area for a while, but all of the sudden, at 3:02 AM I hear, "Here is baby A!" He was taken to the next room since there were only 2 baby stations in this OR. They did the same with the other two yelling their letters as they came out. I was just looking around everywhere, but I couldn't see any babies. I might've heard a little squawk from one of them. Then I saw one carried to a warmer in the corner of my eye, and I couldn't help but cry. I'm sure I asked if they were okay, but I knew to expect this kind of craziness when they came out since they were so little.

As soon as they got them cleaned off a little, made sure they were breathing, and whatever else those miracle workers do, they brought them over one by one. I can't remember who they brought first but they put them right up to my lips so I could kiss it's pink cheek. The tears were streaming from the corner of my eyes into my hair. They were so sweet to let KC hold them, and get those first golden pictures. I'll never forget the high of that moment. We just couldn't believe our eyes!

The babies were then taken to the NICU, and I was getting all sewn up. I don't remember it feeling like a long time or anything. I do remember starting to feel nauseous, and asking for something for it in my IV. Again, everything is a little blurry. I remember coming to my senses a little when I was back in the L&D room where we started. I was covered in warm blankets, and shaking like crazy. We called my mom, who was already at the hospital, and I told her to come to the room. I'm so glad she decided to stay in Maryland for that extra time so she could be here for this. She and KC went to get everything from the room that I'd been living in for almost a month. Apparently, there was a lot of stuff in there. They came back with a huge cart packed full. They came back just in time to hand me the little puke bowl, since my body decided to discard everything that was in my stomach, but I was still a little out of it, so luckily I don't remember much about it. I had one more vomiting episode a couple hours later, but was thankfully done after that. The nausea persisted for the rest of the day, but I just stuck to ice chips, and liquids. And anti-nausea meds of course.

All three of us shut our eyes for a while. I kept falling asleep, but would wake up like a minute later and feel like it had been an hour. My sense of time was all off, and I was still completely numb. They would ask me to wiggle my toes now and then, and it felt so weird that I couldn't for a while.

What seems like a short time later, the nurse informed us were were going to see the babies! It was about 6 am, and we had to go before the 6:30-7:30 off limits time zone. They took my whole bed into the NICU. We got a glowing report from the doctor that was at the delivery. Of course I don't remember a lot from that conversation, but I do remember her telling us to get flu shots asap. The babies were doing everything they'd expect, and hope from 30 weekers, and people kept telling us that they were a good size for their age, and what an accomplishment 30 weeks is for triplets.

Yes, it might seem like that to some, but I couldn't help but feel bad that they came so soon. I mean, I know it was completely out of my hands, and it was actually kind of refreshing to experience something that wasn't on a schedule for once. But so many days I complained about the pregnancy, and I knew I'd be eating my words when I saw how small and vulnerable they were when they came out. But the fact that this happened on it's own, is a real faith builder for me. It was just time for them to come, and it wasn't my choice. I have to keep my faith strong to believe this, especially when I see how fragile they look. But they are strong and stable babies. I thank my Heavenly Father multiple times a day for this.

They took us back to the room. Mom and KC loaded up the car, and she headed home to get some sleep, while we tried to do the same after a couple more phone calls. It was weird sleep again, going in and out of conciseness. They said we were staying there until they had a room ready for us upstairs, where the maternity suites are. I remember thinking that I just wanted to go back to my room that I'd been in for weeks. I missed the nurses, and I was comfortable there. But soon enough they were ready for us. They took us to the NICU again on the way to the room, and I thought it was so sweet that we didn't even have to ask. They still looked good, and we headed upstairs.

I think KC made some more calls to friends and family, and I was still feeling queasy. The nurse told me to sleep, and I'll soon feel like a new person. The rest really helped, and I think KC got a nap too. I was hoping my mom was also catching up at home. After a the numbing was almost gone, I remember the nurse wanted me to try to walk. She was so wonderful holding me up. It was so bizarre trying to walk after being numb for so long, and with a huge slice in my stomach. I realized then that this might be quite a recovery. Although, it wasn't until the next morning that the pain really set it. Oh man, it hurt. I tried to stay in bed a lot, since it mostly hurt when I was up.

So I think that pretty much wraps up the big day. The rest of the hospital stay was a lot of visiting the babies, getting to touch them and hold them, asking for pain killers and being completely out of it when I had taken too many, realizing I don't have any stomach muscles, visiting my nurses from the high risk wing, and getting used to pumping, and being excited about every drop!

I remember going to bed Sunday night, and being so tired, but I was so incredibly happy beyond words. It might've been a little narcotic influenced, but it was a high that couldn't have been all aritificial. I couldn't stop smiling as I closed my eyes to go to sleep. I felt like nothing could get me down, and I was the happiest person on the planet. Of course, hormone changes have put me into some crying fits, and I feel a little like I'm going crazy at times. Worry gets to me, and I start to feel like this is all too much for me to handle. But then I think about how I am now a mother to these children. There are no words to describe the joy I feel when I think of their faces. When I get to hold them, or when I see KC holding them, I feel like it's too good to be true. It just doesn't feel real. I'm sure every new mom goes through this, but I just can't get over it. I don't know if I can handle all this love I have in my heart.

Today I am at home with my mom. KC went to drop off result of my first pumping sessions at home, and then get some work time in, while I am going to let myself rest. Even the nurses said that this is a good time to let myself rest and recover. I wondered if they'd think I was neglecting my kids by not being there 24-7, but they were very supportive in knowing that I needed a little break from the whirlwind of what just happened, and the shock that my body has been through. I will try to go see them tonight when I have gotten sufficient rest, and feel like a car ride again. I miss them tremendously, and can't wait to have them in my arms again. Welcome to our family, little ones!