Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Our little people.

The babies have gone through quite a lot of changes in the past few days. Let's see if I can list them all:
  • They all started wearing real clothes. They are seeing if they can keep their body temperature up. They look so amazingly cute in their tiny preemie outfits, that I am surprised they fit in pretty well.
  • They got their first tub baths, instead of sponge baths this week. We missed Bennett's, but got there in time to watch Alex's and give Ruby hers. Alex loved relaxing in the warm water, but Ruby doesn't prefer being so exposed. She'll learn to love baths someday. They look especially tiny when they are all naked, but they sure can cry.
  • We have started to teach them all to bottle/breast feed. They are doing pretty well, being so young. Someone at the hospital works with them on the bottle feeding, but I of course do the nursing. I love the time I get with them, even if they are just learning, and not being very productive. They'll get the hang of it one of these days.
  • They all got their first piece of mail, their social security cards. Did anyone else get weirded-out when they got mail with their new baby's name on it? It makes them such real people. I love it!
  • I found out that when Alex sneezes, he does like 10 in a row. So cute. Also, Bennett smiles more than anyone else (I know their not real smiles, okay, but I love them anyway). And Ruby has her mommy's scowl/worried face. But she also has the biggest eyes. I love her wandering eyes.
  • They are a very popular bunch in that nicu home of theirs. Being the only triplets right now (and I'm sure it also has to do with how cute they are, but that's just me) they have quite the following. I'm glad they are making friends.
  • Mommy LOVES her afternoon nap. As easy as it may seem with them being cared for right now, I am quite busy while I'm there for several hours every day. I may be gaining some strength back, but I am still on the mend. And add all the new jobs I'm getting when I go to see them into the equation, makes me pretty tired by the time I get home. I'm going to take advantage of my quiet house while I can, but I can't wait to hear their noises ringing though the halls.
So that's the haps around here. We are way overdue for some new pictures. Let's see what goodies I have for you:

Alex

First bath.
Cool hair after bath.


Bennett

All of their gavage tubes have since been moved to their noses so they can learn to nurse and bottle feed.
Looking at mommy from his little window.



Ruby


Getting warm after her first bath.Yep, Ruby still has that silly cannula. She likes it too much to let it go. But we might convince her she can do without it later this week. Fingers crossed.

So there you go. We love these babies more and more everyday. I get butterflies when we arrive at the hospital everyday.

Monday, September 28, 2009

You know, sometimes I actually miss being pregnant.

I know, you are all thinking I'm crazy for saying such a thing. I even think I am a little bit. When I was pregnant, I never thought I'd hear those words coming from my mouth. It's so great that I can now bend over to pick something up, I don't gag at the thought of food anymore, I don't have to make a trip to the bathroom every 5 minutes, I can reach my toenails to paint them, and my legs to shave them, and I'm actually allowed to walk, drive, and get off the couch/bed. But maybe it's that my babies are so far away from me now, when they used to be so close, or maybe it's that they were so much safer inside of me than out, or maybe it's because my pregnancy was cut short and I missed out on those few weeks that other people normally get. But now that it's over, I find myself looking upon my pregnancy as such a special time. I almost feel as if I have to mourn it now that it's over. I really miss it, and I miss my babies being so close to me. Yes, it was a very challenging and uncomfortable pregnancy with a lot of worries, medical interventions, and major adjustments involved, but it was something I will never experience again. Even if I try to get pregnant again someday, it won't be triplets. So it was truly a unique experience, and I feel extremely blessed, and honored to have taken on such a role as carrying triplets in this body of mine. I tried my hardest to relish the time they were inside of me.

I'm not denying that I did a lot of complaining, and wishing it was time for them to come out. Sometimes I was at my wits end, and honestly thought I couldn't make it another day, much less all the weeks I knew I had ahead of me. KC was so good at telling me that I could in fact make it another day, and that it was all going to turn out alright. He probably learned a lot of those great consoling skills from our years of infertility when I would say the same things. My mom also did her fair share of comforting me in my seemingly inconsolable state. I know I wasn't the easiest person to live with while I was expanding so rapidly, so I'm very grateful to have such understanding people by my side.

But as difficult and as long as it seemed, it all feels like a blink of an eye now. I'm trying so hard to take in these precious moments as I watch my tiny babies grow. Up until now, I have wanted things to just fast forward until certain things had taken place. Like, I used to tell KC that I just wanted to fall asleep until all the infertility stuff was over, and I was pregnant, or adopting at last. And then when I was finally pregnant, on the hard days I found myself wishing that again, until morning sickness was over, or until they babies were born safely. But, there were moments during even the more difficult times that I really enjoyed my life as I grew closer to my husband, and learned so much along the way that I wouldn't have otherwise. But sometimes I was just too weak to care about what I was supposed to learn. Or I was selfish and just wanted to get the hard times over with. Sometimes I would just pray to know when and how things would work out, so I could stop stressing over everything and just enjoy the ride. But then I would remember that knowing how things would work out requires very little faith, which I'm sure is a major lesson I was supposed to learn through everything that I've been through.

So, as we are hitting another little bump on this road, with our tiny vulnerable babies trying to live in a place that they shouldn't have to be living in yet, I find myself wishing time could move along again, to a place where my babies are safely in my home, and strong, and well. But I'm trying to learn a lesson from the past, and enjoy every moment, instead of wishing those precious moments away. When my grandma was here, we would talk about how slow the days seemed sometimes. And I told her that I was so grateful for slow days now that I finally have my babies. I 'm sad when a day goes by too quickly, and I hardly had time to think about how incredibly happy I am now, and how blessed, and overwhelmed with joy and love I feel. Of course, I get overwhelmed with worry and fear sometimes too, but it would be so nice if I let this time of my life be without those things. Those feelings have taken over for too long, and it's time to let them go. My babies deserve a strong, faithful, and hopeful mommy, and that is what I am going to give them. It's hard to be strong, loving them so much that my heart aches. Being a mom takes on a whole new level of worry, and it's hard to handle all that love sometimes. But I know I have my Heavenly Father on my side. He loves my family more that I do, which is quite a large amount of love. I will be strong for him too.

So now, as I look at my body covered in stretch marks from my shoulders to my thighs, and look around at my house cluttered with baby gear, and stress about all that has to get done, it all seems like the tiniest sacrifice for the blessings we've been given. I don't think about any of those things when I'm holding them. I can hardly think about anything except that I finally get to kiss the little foreheads I've been dreaming about for so long. I finally get to arrange the tiny clothes in the dresser of the nursery I've been imagining. And I finally get to hold my own children against my chest and listen to them breath. My dreams have literally come true.

I know we are in for some more hard times. I get pretty terrified sometimes when I question if I'll actually be able to do this mothering thing. I wonder if they'll all get the attention they deserve, and if I can remember everything I'm supposed to do. I'm going to try my hardest to be the best mom I can be. And as hard as the days seem, and as much as I'll want to sleep, and as messy as the house gets, I want to enjoy every second. I've been praying for this kind of chaos for a long time, and I couldn't be happier to take it on.

Friday, September 25, 2009

All's well.

The babies continue to do great, and get cuter by the day, if I do say so. Ruby is still on the cannula, but it's pretty much room air. They say she too good of a weight gainer, and she likes a little help to breath because of it. But it's nothing they are concerned about. In fact, when I get my updates from the doctor everyday, she is always happy to report that she doesn't have much to report. We just need them to get fat. In fact, every time I say goodbye, I instruct them to do just that. I'm sure they'll be obedient little children.

We've started a routine now that I'm walking a little easier, and feeling better,(even if it does feel like I still have a ways to go as far as recovery). KC drops me off in the morning on his way to work, and picks me up at lunch. It seems to work out quite well, and I get to see KC during the day, which I love. But as soon as I have my new car, and am given the ok to drive again, it should be even easier. I get a good few hours with the kiddies, during which I hold at least one of them, change all their diapers, take all the temperatures, take advantage of the pumping room a couple times, and take way too many pictures. It's getting harder and harder to say goodbye. But KC and I try to make a nightly visit as well, so I don't have to wait too long in between visits. Sometimes I just want them home so bad. But of course I want them bigger and less fragile, so I can wait. Also, as bad as I want them here with me, I sometimes panic about what my life is going to turn into. I know it is going to be the best time of my life yet, but I am also well aware of how extremely busy, and crazy I am going to be. I just need to establish a routine, and luckily I have time to figure that out. I really want to take advantage of this time, and get my much needed afternoon nap while I have the chance. They are in good hands, and I am so grateful.

Anyway, enough of that. Here are some recent videos. I just wish I could reach into my computer screen and kiss their little cheeks!

Here's Alex right after the nurse gave him his little sponge bath. He had some cool hair going on. Such a handsome guy. (And btw, when I tell the babies to say hi, I know they can't. I'm just making conversation.)
video

Here is Bennett. He greeted me with those bright eyes this morning when I walked in. In fact, it seemed everyone that came in seemed to notice him looking around the room. Quite the people pleaser.
video

And here is my little sweet Ruby. She and I had some cuddle time today, and it was afterward that she decided to wake up and show us those big pretty eyes. (Please excuse the nurses comment. She didn't know I was taking a video. Ha.)
video

"Small but mighty."

That's what the doctor says about out little Bennett. Even though he's the runt of the group, he seems to be progressing faster than the other two in other ways. I finally got my kangaroo time with my little guy, and he had the cutest hiccups. They sounded like little mouse squeaks. It was only a couple weeks ago that he was having those hiccups near my right hip. This is the life.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Feeders and Growers.

That is the term for the status of our team of babies at this point. No medications, no IVs, getting milk for all their nutritional needs, and gaining weight everyday! Just like they are still in mommy growing, but they are outside growing instead. We continue to get great daily updates from the doctors. They already look so different from when they were born only a week and a half ago. Luckily we've taken a million pictures to document the changes. The boys nasal cannulas have been removed, and Ruby's will probably come out today. We LOVE seeing their entire faces, sans tubes and sunshades (for when they are under photo therapy for jaundice). And, up until yesterday Ruby and Bennett have been next to each other, while Alex has been on the other side of the room all lonely. But the baby next to the other two got discharged, leaving the space wide open for Alex to join the party. We take up a whole wall all by ourselves now. I'm so happy they are reunited, even if they don't know the difference. It helps my hobbling body to not have to walk too far to see each one of them.

We've noticed some little personality traits coming through. Bennett has shown a feistier side, which we are very happy about since he has always been the smallest of the three. He'll definitely know how to take care of himself. He's finally off of the photo therapy after being under them for a few days (they'll go off and on those for a while), so we were so glad to finally give him some cuddle time last night.

Ruby likes company. When she's awake, she loves looking at the faces surrounding her isolette. She looks from side to side, taking in all the smiles around her. She is also getting tired of that cannula in her nose. She yanks on it a lot.I also included a short video of her since I didn't have one last time. video

And Alex loves to sleep. He probably has the cutest sleeping face I have ever seen. He finally got a turn kangarooing with me. I just can't get enough of their tiny warm bodies against mine. I can't wait until my quality time with Bennett. We've also noticed some chubbiness in Alex's little cheeks! Here's KC imitating his son. Can't you see the resemblance?

So that is what's been happening around here. Mom, Dad and Grandma left this morning, so maybe I'll be blogging more. Partly as a distraction and to prevent myself from freaking out and bursting into a fit of hormonal tears. My mom who has been here with me for over a month, is now across the country. I'm not even going to deny that I am a bit terrified of being alone right now, after having constant supervision for so long. But it's time for me to regain my independence, and I am feeling a bit better everyday. I don't even know what is in my fridge, and there is clutter on too many surfaces. I have plenty to do to keep me occupied, and I really miss my friends. But it doesn't make me miss my mom any less. I just have to keep remembering that she'll be back, plus lots of other visitors when the babies come home. I can't wait.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

The little men.

Since Ruby got a lot of attention in the last post, I didn't want to neglect the boys. Here's what they were up to today.
video video

My little girl.

Ruby and I had some "kangaroo care" time yesterday. I thought I was in heaven. I especially loved when her little fingers would tickle me under my shirt. I hope I can do this with at least one of them everyday.

Friday, September 18, 2009

How did we get so lucky?!

These babies have stolen my heart. I can't get them out of my head. Sometimes I even find it hard to breathe, I love them so much. From our visit yesterday:

Bennett's gavage feeding. . .

Great Grandma Julie spending some quality time with Ruby. . .

and Alex right after he peed everywhere during his diaper change. Oh those eyes.
KC and I spent a good amount of time with them today, giving each of them some snuggle time with mommy or daddy. It will still be a little while before I feel up to being there for more than just a couple hours, but it's good to know we can call any time for an update. What would I do without my three loves?

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Ugh.

Healing is hard. When you've been off your feet for so long, it's even harder. Now I'd actually prefer to be horizontal because that's what my body is used to. Gravity is really doing a number on me. But, I sleep like a baby, no medications needed. My own bed with KC next to me is the best sleeping pill there ever was.

The babies are doing great and gaining some grams. Every gram counts! They are also eating my very own milk. Through a tube, of course, but still, I am feeding them! The nurses say they are feisty little people, which I love.

My Grandma and Dad arrived last night. I was so happy to see them, and happy that my mom could be reunited with her love.

Just some thoughts this morning.
(And Ruby wanted to say good morning.)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The birth of our babies.

What a week we've had. It's really hard to get all my thoughts in readable order, but I'll try. I wanted to include a lot of details. Hopefully it's not too graphic for those of you that don't prefer to know every little thing. I want to start by saying that we are completely overjoyed, and still quite in shock. Even though I'd been in the hospital, and we knew this could happen, it still seems like everything happened so suddenly. The babies are in very good hands, and feel like we were prepared for everything that we have come across. We knew about how much the babies would weigh and that the babies would be attached to lots of tubes and monitors even if they did come a few weeks later, so we are not shocked by that at all. We feel like we have been given a great blessing of feeling peace and contentment right now, instead of fear and anxiety, which can easily occur at times like this. So, now I'll tell you the story.

Friday night was like any other. Mom went home for the night and KC was sleeping over. We were bored as usual, trying to decided whether to channel surf, put in a movie, or play a game. I was just laying on my side in bed when I felt a jolt downward from baby A, not an unusual feeling at all, but enough to make me jump a little, and complain to KC that one of the babies just kicked me weird. But almost immediately I felt a warm gush of fluid, and I knew unmistakeably that my water had broken. We called our nurse in, and I was feeling pretty scared since I never really expected this to happen. Up until now, I had been a pretty boring patient, a lot of times wondering what I was even doing there, so this probably surprised all of us. It was about 9:30 at night on September 11, only a few hours from our 30 week point. I wanted to be in the 30s so bad that I practically begged the babies to stay in a few more hours. A couple more of our nurse friends came in to help out. They were all so calm, and told me that I needed to calm down. They put the monitors on, and said as long as the babies were okay, they could stay in for quite a while, and continue to make more amniotic fluid. But this was all so new to me, and I didn't like this limbo I was in. The babies all looked good on the monitors, and the nurse was waiting for a call back from the doctor. We called my mom to come back in case something was happening, and also called a friend close by to help with a blessing. I really needed that.

It seemed like it took forever for the doctor to call back. Since I wasn't in pain, she was pretty calm and said she was having a resident come in to check any progress. Some woman I don't know came in and said I didn't look dilated to her, and she as out of my room within a minute or two of coming in. Seems like everyone had somewhere else to be that night. So the doctor called me and said things will probably just move really slowly, and I should probably try to get some sleep. Ha! I asked for my Ambien, cause I knew there was no way I was going to get to sleep on my own that night. Since the babies weren't in danger, they wanted to possibly wait until Monday, when the NICU was better staffed. I was a little confused. But I did what she said and tried to get some sleep.

It was about midnight, and after laying there for a while, I noticed that I would doze off, and then wake up with an uncomfortable contraction, something new to me. Contractions had been pretty painless until then. I tried to ignore the first couple, but they were getting harder to ignore after that. I called in the nurses. There had been a shift change, but they had the scoop. The hooked me up to everything again, and it showed I was having very regular contractions about every four minutes, but now, there was a pain scale involved. I never really prepared for labor since we always knew we'd have c-section, so I was getting really nervous as the pain got more intense. They called the doctor again, and she said to take me to Labor and Delivery where they will check things out more thoroughly to determine what to do with me. About an hour had passed, and I was definitely in the throes of labor now, in excruciating pain everything 3 minutes or less. I was getting scared thinking of how small the babies would be. One of the nurses that I has grown to know and love in the was so sweet and helping me through the contractions, telling me that the babies will be strong, and squeezing my hand. When she left, I was sad to not have my familiar friends around me. The nurse we just met in L&D looked super busy trying to figure everything out. I couldn't even really see straight at this point. She hastily apologized as she checked my cervix (we didn't have time for her to be careful, or gentle about this, and I completely understand that we were in extreme circumstances, but I don't think I ever had felt such pain than that in my life), and ran to the phone where I heard her tell the doctor a bit frantically that I was now dilated to a 9! A lot of this is blurry to me, but I remember her coming in and telling us we were going to have these babies soon. She gave me strict instructions not to push.

I just want to stop right here to say that you'd think KC was a pro at this labor thing if you saw him that night. Like I said, this was not in our plans at all, but he helped me breath through every contraction, and kept his cool the entire time. I was so grateful to have him by my side the entire time to let me squeeze as I needed, which was a lot. I love him so very much.

So, anyway, the next thing I know, they were throwing a packet of scrubs at KC telling him it was time to change. I was begging for pain relief. The nurse said that she could see that I was really "uncomfortable" (seriously, can't she just say a lot of pain instead), so they were going to give me the spinal before the doctor got there, even though they'd rather wait until we were in the OR. They had me sit up, but the nurse didn't like that. Just as they were prepping me, the doctor arrived. As I continued to cry in agony, KC kept reminding me that I only needed to make it through a few more since the Dr. was here and we were getting ready to go. They wheeled my bed into the OR. KC had to wait outside until the spinal was in place and they were ready for him. There were so many people around me, but I was still in so much pain, I couldn't even think straight. They told me to turn on my side (I couldn't sit up since a baby would probably come out) and arch my back. There was some kind person holding me in that position, and I felt very taken care of by the kind staff. My doctor would occasionally come and hold my hand as things were getting prepped, to let me know that everything was under control, and we'd get moving soon. I felt almost instant relief with the spinal, as everything from my chest down became tingly, then numb. I could've probably fallen asleep right then. I kept asking when KC was going to come in, and they kept reassuring me that they'd bring him in soon. They put a drape in front of my face and brought KC in to sit by me. He held my hand so tight. It was so wonderful to have him by my side again. It was actually quite calm in the OR, and I think I even remember some of the small talk, and 80s music going on as we waited for things to get going. And I'm recalling that they asked me who painted my toenails. (Thanks mom!)

Then everything happened so fast. I knew I'd feel some pressure and movement while numb, but no pain. I did feel a lot of prodding, and tugging, but I wasn't sure what exactly was happening yet. I thought they were just cleaning the area for a while, but all of the sudden, at 3:02 AM I hear, "Here is baby A!" He was taken to the next room since there were only 2 baby stations in this OR. They did the same with the other two yelling their letters as they came out. I was just looking around everywhere, but I couldn't see any babies. I might've heard a little squawk from one of them. Then I saw one carried to a warmer in the corner of my eye, and I couldn't help but cry. I'm sure I asked if they were okay, but I knew to expect this kind of craziness when they came out since they were so little.

As soon as they got them cleaned off a little, made sure they were breathing, and whatever else those miracle workers do, they brought them over one by one. I can't remember who they brought first but they put them right up to my lips so I could kiss it's pink cheek. The tears were streaming from the corner of my eyes into my hair. They were so sweet to let KC hold them, and get those first golden pictures. I'll never forget the high of that moment. We just couldn't believe our eyes!

The babies were then taken to the NICU, and I was getting all sewn up. I don't remember it feeling like a long time or anything. I do remember starting to feel nauseous, and asking for something for it in my IV. Again, everything is a little blurry. I remember coming to my senses a little when I was back in the L&D room where we started. I was covered in warm blankets, and shaking like crazy. We called my mom, who was already at the hospital, and I told her to come to the room. I'm so glad she decided to stay in Maryland for that extra time so she could be here for this. She and KC went to get everything from the room that I'd been living in for almost a month. Apparently, there was a lot of stuff in there. They came back with a huge cart packed full. They came back just in time to hand me the little puke bowl, since my body decided to discard everything that was in my stomach, but I was still a little out of it, so luckily I don't remember much about it. I had one more vomiting episode a couple hours later, but was thankfully done after that. The nausea persisted for the rest of the day, but I just stuck to ice chips, and liquids. And anti-nausea meds of course.

All three of us shut our eyes for a while. I kept falling asleep, but would wake up like a minute later and feel like it had been an hour. My sense of time was all off, and I was still completely numb. They would ask me to wiggle my toes now and then, and it felt so weird that I couldn't for a while.

What seems like a short time later, the nurse informed us were were going to see the babies! It was about 6 am, and we had to go before the 6:30-7:30 off limits time zone. They took my whole bed into the NICU. We got a glowing report from the doctor that was at the delivery. Of course I don't remember a lot from that conversation, but I do remember her telling us to get flu shots asap. The babies were doing everything they'd expect, and hope from 30 weekers, and people kept telling us that they were a good size for their age, and what an accomplishment 30 weeks is for triplets.

Yes, it might seem like that to some, but I couldn't help but feel bad that they came so soon. I mean, I know it was completely out of my hands, and it was actually kind of refreshing to experience something that wasn't on a schedule for once. But so many days I complained about the pregnancy, and I knew I'd be eating my words when I saw how small and vulnerable they were when they came out. But the fact that this happened on it's own, is a real faith builder for me. It was just time for them to come, and it wasn't my choice. I have to keep my faith strong to believe this, especially when I see how fragile they look. But they are strong and stable babies. I thank my Heavenly Father multiple times a day for this.

They took us back to the room. Mom and KC loaded up the car, and she headed home to get some sleep, while we tried to do the same after a couple more phone calls. It was weird sleep again, going in and out of conciseness. They said we were staying there until they had a room ready for us upstairs, where the maternity suites are. I remember thinking that I just wanted to go back to my room that I'd been in for weeks. I missed the nurses, and I was comfortable there. But soon enough they were ready for us. They took us to the NICU again on the way to the room, and I thought it was so sweet that we didn't even have to ask. They still looked good, and we headed upstairs.

I think KC made some more calls to friends and family, and I was still feeling queasy. The nurse told me to sleep, and I'll soon feel like a new person. The rest really helped, and I think KC got a nap too. I was hoping my mom was also catching up at home. After a the numbing was almost gone, I remember the nurse wanted me to try to walk. She was so wonderful holding me up. It was so bizarre trying to walk after being numb for so long, and with a huge slice in my stomach. I realized then that this might be quite a recovery. Although, it wasn't until the next morning that the pain really set it. Oh man, it hurt. I tried to stay in bed a lot, since it mostly hurt when I was up.

So I think that pretty much wraps up the big day. The rest of the hospital stay was a lot of visiting the babies, getting to touch them and hold them, asking for pain killers and being completely out of it when I had taken too many, realizing I don't have any stomach muscles, visiting my nurses from the high risk wing, and getting used to pumping, and being excited about every drop!

I remember going to bed Sunday night, and being so tired, but I was so incredibly happy beyond words. It might've been a little narcotic influenced, but it was a high that couldn't have been all aritificial. I couldn't stop smiling as I closed my eyes to go to sleep. I felt like nothing could get me down, and I was the happiest person on the planet. Of course, hormone changes have put me into some crying fits, and I feel a little like I'm going crazy at times. Worry gets to me, and I start to feel like this is all too much for me to handle. But then I think about how I am now a mother to these children. There are no words to describe the joy I feel when I think of their faces. When I get to hold them, or when I see KC holding them, I feel like it's too good to be true. It just doesn't feel real. I'm sure every new mom goes through this, but I just can't get over it. I don't know if I can handle all this love I have in my heart.

Today I am at home with my mom. KC went to drop off result of my first pumping sessions at home, and then get some work time in, while I am going to let myself rest. Even the nurses said that this is a good time to let myself rest and recover. I wondered if they'd think I was neglecting my kids by not being there 24-7, but they were very supportive in knowing that I needed a little break from the whirlwind of what just happened, and the shock that my body has been through. I will try to go see them tonight when I have gotten sufficient rest, and feel like a car ride again. I miss them tremendously, and can't wait to have them in my arms again. Welcome to our family, little ones!

Finally introducing. . .

Alex Kent

Bennett Clark

Ruby Dawn
(we'll get a better close up of her soon.)

With a lot of prodding from nurses (and threats of silly nicknames), the registrar demanding the birth certificates, and me just being annoyed that my poor babies don't have names, we finally came up with some that we thought suited their personalities well. They aren't all names we expected, or really planned, but what can you do when your baby just looks like it has a certain name? Not only do we love them more now (if that is even possible), but it is a HUGE load off my mind.

Oh, and I convinced them to let me come home last night instead of sometime today. To shower in my own bathroom, eat out of my own fridge, and sleep in my own bed is a very wonderful thing! Especially after a month of not being able to. From now on my life consists of pumping, visiting the babes, trying to recover (a c-section can really do a number on you!), eating, and sleeping. I miss my babies when I am home, but I know they are being taken care of. I can't wait to see them again!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

A preview of the wee ones.

The post including the whole story will take some time (and a little brain power that I don't seem to have right now), so in the meantime, I'll just show some more pictures of the darlings. All the tubes and things aren't as intimidating as they look. It's just basically food, a little help breathing, and monitors to make sure they are doing what they should. Everything that they'd expect from normal 30 week preemies!

I feel so bad that they don't have names yet. Like they're orphans or something. We're working on it, believe me! Here's the latest.

Boy A:
(Nana's finger)

Boy B:

Girl C:

(I got to hold her!)

Thank you everybody so much for the many congratulations! It's all so surreal. We feel incredibly blessed.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Happy birthday sweet babies.

September 12, 2009 (30 weeks exactly!)

Baby Boy A: 2 lb. 11 oz. 3:02 AM

Baby Boy B: 2 lb. 10 oz. 3:03 AM
Baby Girl C: 2 lb. 13 oz. 3:04 AM


No names yet. Babies are doing wonderfully well. Better pictures and details to come. We are happy and so in love.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Another bulleted post because that seems easiest right now.

*Apparently, it's been really busy here the past couple of days because everyone wanted to get induced to have their babies on 9-9-09. Silly, if you ask me.

*Yesterday I got so sick of eating in bed, partially lying down, that I rebelled and sat at the table for lunch and dinner! I felt a little normal for a second there.

*Mom and I spent a good portion of yesterday shopping online. I didn't end up buying anything, but she had quite a successful shopping trip.

*When I ran out of my beloved Unisom, they started me on Ambien, and it just doesn't work the same. I wake up at about 3:30 every night, and can't get back to sleep for a couple hours. I also have to take medications, and have vital signs taken in the middle of the night, so sometimes that wakes me up for a while too. Maybe I'll ask for a double dose.

*Has anyone been watching Jeopardy lately? They are showing re-runs until they start the new season, I guess. I was just telling KC that I wanted to watch some really old episodes when one came on the other day. It was so retro and cool. I loved seeing how the game, and Alex have evolved. Jeopardy is a highlight of my evenings. They had a Ken Jennings episode last night. Wow.

*Turing over in bed is near impossible to accomplish these days without a lot of moaning involved. But I can also laugh at the situation since it's ridiculous that something that should be so easy is so difficult.

*Mom came back from her walk to the store yesterday with all the makings for a giant paper chain. She cut and stapled enough to get us to 34 weeks. Whoa. I know it's supposed to be encouraging, but it looks like a really long chain to me. It's still fun to look at, and the staff thinks it's quite funny.

*KC picked me up some of my favorite take-out for dinner yesterday, Lebanese Taverna. Those grape leaves are so delicious. I couldn't eat much due to babies squishing my stomach, but what I did eat was a very welcomed change from my normal food choices. The poor guy was stuck in traffic forever to get it for me. What a sweetheart.

*We had a sonogram this morning, and it looks like I've been stable for over a week now. The doctor and the sonographer were very glad to see that. The babies are gaining weight as they should. My doctor even said, depending on how things look next week, we can schedule the c-section for 34 weeks! I'll also get another set of steroid shots for the lungs. When I got the first set, they told me that they'd administer another set if me made it to 31 weeks. I laughed when they said that because I never really let myself imagine that we'd make it to that point, so this is crazy to me.

*Thanks for all the sweet comments from friends and strangers. You are all so kind to be thinking about us, and praying for us. I'm sorry for my lack of comments. Typing is kind of a big job with all the sitting up and situating it requires. I love all your blog updates, and am always so thankful to have fun things to read, even if I don't comment to say so. I'm so glad I can keep up with all of you, especially now while I feel a little isolated. Keep the posts coming!

Sunday, September 06, 2009

The "late triplets".

Since I am now 29 weeks pregnant, the nicu has named my babies the" late triplets" because they thought they'd already be born by now. This makes us feel a little relieved since they are used to dealing with much worse. (But not too relieved-we still want as much gestating as possible!) Anyway, can you believe it, only days away from another big goal, 30 weeks! It's been a rocky couple of weeks being in the hospital, with contractions all over the place, and not very restful nights, but I feel a little better mentally (physically is another story, ugh) every day knowing the babies had that day to develop inutero a little longer. One of my doctors has said that if these contractions were any more productive, we'd being visiting these babies in the nicu already. So at least whatever progression they are making is slow thanks to all this intervening, and we all have a little mental party as we go to sleep knowing we made it another day.

I'll admit, sometimes my hormones get the best of me, and I feel like I can't take any more physical or emotional anguish, and I want the babies out already! But then whenever there is a real threat, I freak out and pray that they'll stay in just a little longer. Oh the roller coaster! Of course, we have no other choice but to do everything we can to keep them in, and hormones won't have any say in the final outcome of their arrival. But I hope my sanity can make it to that day. I just want to hold these babies so much, my arms ache. KC and I are just trying to find our deepest strengths to hold it together on the hard days, and to have enough faith to know that everything is going to happen as it should. It's much less pressure to leave it all up to the Lord than to put it all on our shoulders. I wish I could remember that more often.

Mostly, things go pretty smoothly around here. They have me on a few different meds to keep the contractions at bay, and KC and my mom are always doing whatever they can to make me more comfortable and keep me from being too active, or too crazy. Mom and I have really made ourselves at home here with our computers, game-playing, TV vegging, napping, reading, going on wheelchair walks, just plain chatting, and getting to know the entire staff it seems. KC has been working hard looking at vans and accumulating more time off for when we really need it, and then coming "home" for dinner where either he or mom will stay to sleep over. So this is the normal life for us, and we seem to be in a pretty good routine to keep us all sane. Every now and then, I forget why I am here, and what will eventually take place. Before I leave, I will have 3 babies that belong to KC and me. I mean, I feel their jolts all day long, I see them at least once a week on the sonogram, I hear their heart beats at least twice a day, and still, it usually doesn't hit me until I'm about to fall asleep, and everything is quiet, and my brain is finally resting, that I'm going to finally be a mom. It just seems too surreal to think about. Oh man, we are almost there.

So here are some pictures of the latest:

Scary I know, but I had to include it. I had some scarier pictures, believe me.

I LOVE my wheelchair walks, as you can see. People always think I'm in labor so they panic when we are at the elevator, or when we need a door opened. We always reassure them that we have at least a little time left.

Mom did a little decorating. It's nice to see this right in front of my bed. The tiny onesies actually attract a lot of attention. The nurses love it.

I just had to include another walk picture since I love it so much. I hadn't been in the warm noon sun for weeks, and it felt like paradise.

Get ready for the 30 week picture coming up soon. This belly is really quite a scene these days!